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Funny Rude Facebook Statusuming Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Rude Facebook Statusuming" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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420 Facebook Status quotes
I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing I'd be HUMILIATED.
Unknown
764 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
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Whoever said white men can't jump has clearly never played Temple Run.
Unknown
220 Likes
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I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I Miss New York", so I smashed their window and stole their radio.
Unknown
649 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen.
Unknown
198 Likes
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Jim's whor.. house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.'
Unknown
558 Likes
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
Unknown
1197 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time.
Unknown
181 Likes
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Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas?
Unknown
260 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Unknown
471 Likes
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I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China...
Unknown
364 Likes
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
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