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Funny Short Status Selfish People Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Short Status Selfish People" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing, and don't let people bring you down.
Unknown
109 Likes
Life Is Too Short quotes
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Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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I'm positive I lost an electron, I better keep an ion that.
Unknown
144 Likes
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life's too short to have everything perfect. Let your hair out, go wild, be free, and who gives a damn what people think about you...live life!!
Unknown
172 Likes
Teenage quotes
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Selfish people will never over exert themselves for you, where true genuine peeps will always go that extra mile to show they care!
Unknown
28 Likes
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There are many selfish people who are extremely original, then they take those pure ideas and use them to raise themselves up, that is an insincere move.
Daniel Smith
112 Likes
Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.
Unknown
3329 Likes
Sarcastic quotes
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People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart.
Howard Simons
15 Likes
People quotes
I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
Unknown
568 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
Unknown
540 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Unknown
524 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
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I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
Unknown
264 Likes
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I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Unknown
2760 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Unknown
1223 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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