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Funny Steve H Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Steve H" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If I am still standing at the end of the race, hit me with a board and knock me down, because that means I didnt run hard enough.
Steve Jones
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Running quotes
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I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
Steve Buscemi
4 Likes
Steve's gotta go drain the sea monster. -Steve the Pirate
Dodgeball
3 Likes
You know what, Steve Jobs is real nice to me. He lets me be an employee and that's one of the biggest honors of my life.
Steve Wozniak
8 Likes
So because of my act my daughter thinks she can talk to me about anything. She's been dating the same guy since high school and they go to the same college, and she calls me up one night and says 'Dad, I wanted to talk to you about Steve.' And all I can think is if she tells me she took it up the a.. I'm gonna drop dead on the phone. I mean what do you say to that 'Daddy, I don't like it in the butt.' Yeah, you and your mom both. So she says 'Dad, you know Steve and I have been together for a while, and he was wondering what it would be like to go all the way.' So I said 'Maybe I'll fu.. him then he won't have to wonder anymore.' See Steve that's what it's like to go all the way...would you stop crying?
Robert Schimmel
12 Likes
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My girlfriend always laughs during s.. -- no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs
67 Likes
Funny quotes
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A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
Steve Fergosi
13 Likes
Funny quotes
Drinking quotes
Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs founded Apple Inc, which set the computing world on its ear with the Macintosh in 1984.
Kevin Mitnick
1 Likes
I believe that s.. is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy.
Steve Martin
49 Likes
Funny quotes
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I don't think of myself as funny, I don't fill up a room with my humor...I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.
Steve Carell
1 Likes
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You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
Steve Irwin
22 Likes
You know that look women get when they want s..? Me neither.
Steve Martin
105 Likes
Funny quotes
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Tim Cook is really an excellent...very much gives the appearance of speaking and thinking the way Steve Jobs does. So in the short term, I dont expect any real changes in Apple.
Steve Wozniak
3 Likes
I don't have Steve. There is no having the Steve.
Cynthia Nixon
0 Likes
I don't have Steve. There is no having the Steve.
Miranda Hobbes
0 Likes
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Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
Bob Saget
1 Likes
Steve knew how to, you know, put circuits together and look at diagrams and connect wires and construct devices that would have flashing numbers for things like frequency detections that would correspond to the tone of a guitar or something like that.
Steve Wozniak
1 Likes
Everything that Traffic ever did, I'd give Steve a complete lyric, titled, written out with the verse, the bridge, the shape and rhyme and then Steve had to figure out how the meter of the words would fit musically.
Jim Capaldi
1 Likes
Steve Martin is one of the most intelligent, well-read human beings that I've ever come across. He is equally as funny off screen as he is on. But he also has a very intellectual side, and he's a really nice human being. We actually become good friends.
Anthony LaPaglia
0 Likes
Homos..uality may be proscribed in the Old Testament, but it's not in the New, because I believe that Jesus was more tolerant. 'I'm bringing the water to Steve and Gary's wedding this weekend. Although I probably shouldn't turn it into a house wine: those guys know the difference.'
Judy Brown
18 Likes
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