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Funny Weekend Facebook Stat Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Weekend Facebook Stat" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
Unknown
256 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Where's Kanye West when my parents are giving me a 9376969675949 hour lecture?
Unknown
21 Likes
Funny quotes
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Facebook quotes
I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
Unknown
39 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Started writing poetry the other day. POETR, it's coming along nicely.
Unknown
210 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
Unknown
67 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.
Unknown
294 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Keeping It Real quotes
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Unknown
524 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
Unknown
154 Likes
Funny quotes
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Unknown
1060 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Hi, I'm a shower. If you turn me on, I'll make you wet.
Mickey Anderson
230 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
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I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
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The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...
Unknown
576 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
Unknown
310 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Sex quotes
I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
Unknown
264 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
1682 Likes
Witty Facebook Status quotes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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That awkward moment when you say 'Hey' to someone on facebook chat, and seconds later they sign out. How Rude.
Unknown
538 Likes
Rudeness quotes
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