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Funny Work Status On F Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Work Status On F" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Zach Manal
320 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be 'Think of how great this will look in the background of your social networking pics.'
Hussein Nishah
123 Likes
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No officer, I didn't see you in my rear view...my eyes haven't left my phone for at least the past 5 miles...
Unknown
100 Likes
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At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, 'Make it 52.'
Unknown
519 Likes
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They should make a reality TV show called, 'Jersey Shore meets Shark Week.'
Unknown
155 Likes
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Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
Unknown
520 Likes
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I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
Unknown
2862 Likes
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Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money?! This number is no longer in service...
Unknown
835 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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I think I've matured to a great extent. I think that I want different things now. That it's not about the celebrity status that you receive because you're doing the next hot movie. It's about doing good work.
Emilio Estevez
35 Likes
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Don't treat someone like an iphone if they treat you like a blackberry.
Unknown
191 Likes
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Just because you say Swag in every other sentence doesn't mean you have it.
Unknown
514 Likes
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Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
Unknown
372 Likes
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Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
Unknown
2382 Likes
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Everything is made in China. Except for babies. They are made in VaChina.
Unknown
501 Likes
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I don't make typos. I make new words.
Unknown
914 Likes
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No. I am not lazy, I am just very protective of my seat.
Unknown
104 Likes
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If s.. is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
Unknown
199 Likes
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Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook.
Unknown
595 Likes
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you have boobs. It's really that simple.
Unknown
336 Likes
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