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George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
George Carlin
10 Likes
Humanity quotes
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If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
George Carlin
6 Likes
Smile quotes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
6 Likes
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
4 Likes
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Driving quotes
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Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should have all the drugs they want and there'd be nobody in charge, sort of like... now!
Paul Haggis
0 Likes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Humanity quotes
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.
George Harrison
925 Likes
Birthday quotes
World quotes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
George Carlin
0 Likes
Movies quotes
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When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.
George Carlin
9 Likes
Movies quotes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Movies quotes
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
1 Likes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
George Carlin
5 Likes
Libraries quotes
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
21 Likes
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The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
23 Likes
Lies quotes
Humor quotes
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When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
George Carlin
5 Likes
Reason quotes
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
5 Likes
Singers And Singing quotes
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Restaurants quotes
My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. I will pray that you receive more than you have hoped for this birthday. Happy Birthday.
Unknown
1505 Likes
Birthday Wishes quotes
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