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George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
George Carlin
61 Likes
Smile quotes
Sponsored Links
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
16 Likes
Funny quotes
Change quotes
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Belief quotes
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Politics quotes
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
8 Likes
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
22 Likes
Music quotes
Dancing quotes
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Truth quotes
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it
George Carlin
44 Likes
Suicide quotes
I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
Steve Buscemi
4 Likes
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin
24 Likes
Moon quotes
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
145 Likes
Funny quotes
Weather quotes
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
George Carlin
8 Likes
Life quotes
Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'
George Carlin
17 Likes
Medicine quotes
Doctors quotes
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
1 Likes
Sponsored Links
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin
20 Likes
Money quotes
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with
George Carlin
2 Likes
Drugs quotes
Funny quotes
The Religious Right dislikes both abortions and homos..uality. But who has fewer abortions than gays?
George Carlin
40 Likes
Funny Gay quotes
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
67 Likes
Humorfunny quotes
Driving quotes
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