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George Carlin Chr Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Chr" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
George Carlin
8 Likes
Euphemism quotes
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
George Carlin
6 Likes
Self-esteem quotes
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
28 Likes
Funny quotes
Electricity quotes
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day
George Carlin
2 Likes
Trade quotes
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Death quotes
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Death quotes
What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your whole life...? Take a freakin' chance!
George Carlin
14 Likes
Life quotes
Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
George Carlin
25 Likes
Funny quotes
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Famous Holiday quotes
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
16 Likes
Death quotes
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George Carlin
6 Likes
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When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
1 Likes
Religion is just mind control
George Carlin
9 Likes
Religion quotes
If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
George Carlin
5 Likes
Solution quotes
Religion is just mind control
George Carlin
5 Likes
Religion quotes
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fu..
George Carlin
61 Likes
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Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Money quotes
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.
George Carlin
5 Likes
Thinking quotes
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I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Thinking quotes
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I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Thinking quotes
Independence quotes
Free Thinking quotes
I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all. I said, To get to where they are, they all have had to endure bad nights and it's not easy. If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
George Lopez
16 Likes
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