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Give A Joke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Give A Joke" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!
Erick S Gray
176 Likes
Deep Life quotes
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Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something that's a little bit different.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
3 Likes
Best Relationship? Its when you can joke around, have unexpected hugs, random kisses & give each other that specific stare and just smile.
Unknown
32 Likes
Best quotes
Relationship quotes
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That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than a student coming off the street because his father pays the tuition. Come on. Give me a break. This is no school. This is a joke.
Miroslav Vitous
2 Likes
What keeps me grounded is my friends and family and being able to joke around and have a sense of humor. They laugh at me about everything and I give it right back. Being able to have the sanctity of people you know and love and trust really makes you feel safe in this environment.
Leonardo DiCaprio
17 Likes
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After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
Aziz Ansari
2 Likes
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.
Richard Marx
0 Likes
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Unknown
26 Likes
Funny quotes
Irish quotes
Laughter brings you to reality as it is. The world is a play of God, a cosmic joke. And unless you understand it as a cosmic joke you will never be able to understand the ultimate mystery.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
2 Likes
Laughter quotes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
Jokes quotes
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I'm still scared to give another human being all of my love and affection being heart broken is no joke.
Unknown
34 Likes
Being Broken quotes
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I mean, first and foremost were just trying to make the best product we can and the internet becomes sort of a secondary thing. If a certain joke or scene picks up on the internet and takes off thats great. Although we never want someone to just get one scene or joke out of context. But sometimes well do a little short video or something for the internet hoping that that goes around just to stir up a little buzz for the show. But you know the internet is just a nice bonus to getting the show out.
Charlie Day
11 Likes
Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. So if you give her crap, you will receive a ton of shit.
Unknown
316 Likes
Relationship Advice quotes
Women quotes
Last week I did a thing on the Grammys with a Top 10 list. There was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy Award. The next day, I got a call from a guy who said, 'Lindsay thought the joke was hilarious! She wants to be on your show!'. I said, 'Great!' I called publicity and said, 'Get the press release out immediately!' It went around the world. People said, 'Are you kidding me?! This will be fantastic! This will be like the Super Bowl'... and then Lindsay Lohan says none of this is happening.
David Letterman
6 Likes
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
Quentin Crisp
3 Likes
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In the beginning I had a bunch of Thor comics, and someone would give me a Thor doll as a joke, and a hammer, and I had all these things around my house. My manager gave me a record of the Thor soundtrack from years ago. And I'm like, wait a second; I'm playing this guy, I can't have all this around my house. I'll make a fool of myself. So I boxed it away and gave it to someone else.
Chris Hemsworth
3 Likes
The best realtionship is when we can act like lovers and bestfriends. It's when you have more playful moments then serious moments. It's when you can joke around, have unexpected hugs, and random kisses.It's when we give eachother that specific stare and just smile. It's when you'll stay up all night just to settle your arguements and problem. It's when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are.
Unknown
58 Likes
Relationship Advice quotes
Love Advice quotes
Give me work to do, Give me health, Give me joy in simple things, Give me an eye for beauty, A tongue for truth, A heart that loves, A mind that reasons, A sympathy that understands. Give me neither malice nor envy, But a true kindness And a noble common sense. At the close of each day Give me a book And a friend with whom I can be silent.
S M Frazier
6 Likes
Love quotes
Friendship quotes
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the morning light. Give thanks for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food. And give thanks for the joy of living. And if perchance you see no reason to give thanks. Rest assured the fault is yours.
Unknown
79 Likes
Good Morning quotes
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Appreciation quotes
I would give up happiness to never see you sad, I would give up eternity to be with you always, I would give up my life so that your's would be new, I would give up everything except you.
Unknown
60 Likes
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