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Goodnight Funny Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Goodnight Funny Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
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Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
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616 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
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573 Likes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
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664 Likes
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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
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57 Likes
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That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet.
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243 Likes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
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1083 Likes
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Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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502 Likes
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I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name...Then it hit me...
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750 Likes
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Rubix cubes are EASY....when you're color blind.
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358 Likes
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May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake.
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192 Likes
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The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.
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275 Likes
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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes.
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80 Likes
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
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521 Likes
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
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664 Likes
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Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'
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619 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
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3730 Likes
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