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Hilarious Monday Imageses Imageses Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hilarious Monday Imageses Imageses" sorted by relevance. 316 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Sunday morning is like Monday morning except with better coffee and less bullshit.
Unknown
176 Likes
Sunday Morning quotes
Good Morning quotes
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The best way to wake yourself is to brew a pot of fresh coffee, then run it through the machine a second time using the old grounds. While youre doing that, make an espresso then add that to a mug of the double-brewed coffee. In my house, we call it a red-eye. Drink one first thing Monday morning and youll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the rest of the week.
Ozzy Osbourne
28 Likes
I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
Paul Rudd
14 Likes
Why is it that Facebook even gives me the option to 'Like' my own status? Of course I like my status. I'm hilarious.
Unknown
618 Likes
Facebook quotes
Facebook Status quotes
I guess what was going to come back came back on Monday. Of course now I've played a different golf course. I've played two practice rounds and two tournament rounds all kind of the same and now today I've played a different golf course.
Raymond Floyd
6 Likes
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When I was on the red carpet at the VMA's as a contest winner, Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears wouldn't stop to talk to me. You can actually see them blowing me off on camera! The next day on TRL, when Carson asked me about it, I said, 'Whatever, they didn't win anyway.' But my bosses thought it was hilarious. They showed the scenes of Christina blowing me off as one of the top moments on the TRL 'End-of-the-Year Countdown'! Well, a few months later at the Grammys, Christina apologized to me on the air! I was like 'Whoa! She was so nice!'.
Hilarie Burton
20 Likes
OJ Simpson's trial for kidnapping, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon started Monday. Man, you know you've lived a crazy life when a trial for kidnapping, armed robbery and assault isn't your most interesting trial.
Seth Meyers
21 Likes
Ain't it a shame to go fishin on a Sunday. Ain't it a shame. Ain't it a shame to go fishin on a Sunday. When you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Oh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Lead Belly
1 Likes
Youth is like a long weekend on Friday night. Middle age is like a long weekend on Monday afternoon.
Richard Nelson Bolles
75 Likes
Funny quotes
Weekend quotes
Youth quotes
Middle Age quotes
Every week we're producing and writing and acting in a movie. On Monday we don't have anything for the show yet, and it's on Saturday. You get a little frantic. But that's what's so cool about the job, is that the energy there. On Saturday nights, when it's a live show, you can't beat the energy there. And definitely performing live has made me less nervous on a movie set. To me that's like the most nerve-wracking thing in the world, doing live TV and trying to make people laugh.
Kristen Wiig
4 Likes
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They cant get no music, them cant get no cherish. So Woppi King write about him sound system man, and write Count Suckle from Paddington, Jim Dandy from Brixton, Duke Neville and Duke Sonny, from Birmingham, and Bishop the High Priest and Count Bust the Black Prince from Brixton, Asking them if the can come play fe him Easter Monday night, because the man have a big dance in Hell.
Laurel Aitken
9 Likes
Common sense always speaks too late. Common sense is the guy who tells you ought to have had your brakes relined last week before you smashed a front end this week. Common sense is the Monday morning quarterback who could have won the ball game if he had been on the team. But he never is. He's high up in the stands with a flask on his hip. Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it's always somebody else's money he's adding up.
Raymond Chandler
32 Likes
Money quotes
We would said to people, you know, you've been living here for 40 years, for 50 years. Your street is not paved. You have a dirt road. You don't have clean water. If you want to change that, you must register and you must vote. You can get someone else elected. Come to a mass meeting, come next Monday. The neighbors are coming. Your uncle is coming. Your children are coming. You should be there. I tell people, we're going to have a march for the right to vote. Don't be afraid. You may get arrested, but a lot of other people will be getting arrested with you. And some people would be convinced, and some would not.
John Lewis
9 Likes
The President's message is to all Americans. It's important for all Americans to remember the traditions of our country that make us so strong and so free, our tolerance and openness and acceptance. All Americans and we come from a very rich cultural heritage, no matter what anybody's background in this country. And that's the strength of this country, and that's the President's message that he expressed in his speech to Congress and as he has done when he visited the mosque a week ago Monday, and in the meetings that he's hosting here at the White House today with Muslim Americans and Sikh Americans.
Ari Fleischer
5 Likes
So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' ab
Bill Hicks
19 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
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So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' ab
Bill Hicks
18 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
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