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Life Funny Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Life Funny Sarcastic" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Women are good for 70 things, sandwiches and 69.
Risa Schizophrenia
424 Likes
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My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.
Unknown
215 Likes
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Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...
Unknown
570 Likes
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A police officer asked me where I was between 4 and 5? I said kindergarten.
Kayla Knight
180 Likes
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I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.
Unknown
336 Likes
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You took my daughter's virginity! Sorry sir, it won't happen again...
Unknown
117 Likes
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A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
Oscar Wilde
32 Likes
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9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just plane wrong.
Unknown
220 Likes
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I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.
Unknown
569 Likes
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I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport.
Unknown
619 Likes
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I'm not single, I'm just wait for my girlfriend to quit playing hide and seek.
Tim Walters
317 Likes
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I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
Gene Wilder
2 Likes
Another day at work...I'm having as much fun as a colorblind person playing twister.
Unknown
171 Likes
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People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont date fish.
Unknown
173 Likes
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I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit.
Unknown
375 Likes
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Life can be funny and serious. We either laugh over it or cry over it. But Life itself doesn't care about such reactions. It goes on.
Terry Mark
126 Likes
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Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??
Unknown
422 Likes
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Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.
Ritu Ghatourey
268 Likes
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If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
Oscar Wilde
18 Likes
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They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit.
Unknown
104 Likes
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