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Married Life Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Married Life Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I'm getting married because I'm in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her. You can't live your life doing what other people want you to or you'll be miserable. At some point you just have to be yourself.
Dan Marino
8 Likes
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What I really tried to do with Helen was make her show this sad side of her. She was married off at 16, was so young and living in this castle that can't leave because of how she looks, and married to a man she hates and three times her age.
Diane Kruger
7 Likes
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown
43 Likes
Funny quotes
Valentines Day quotes
When a married man talks in his sleep, it's because he finally has the opportunity to say something without the wife interrupting him.
Unknown
78 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
21 Likes
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In married life three is company and two none.
Oscar Wilde
7 Likes
Life quotes
I kind of had my life planned out for me. I'd be married at some point, have, you know, 1.5 children, and be a principal possibly one day. But I think that that was kind of my problem. I allowed myself to plan out my life and didn't let provident direction guide my life.
Clay Aiken
0 Likes
I'm married now, so I have a life. I had to get a life. That's one thing I really had to do, you know. You do that kind of work on television series after television series and you don't have a life. So, that's part of what I did while I was gone, I got a life.
Kate Jackson
14 Likes
There's no more important decision in life than who you marry. It'll determine your happiness, your fate - so many things. That when you get married, you have sealed what it will be like to wake up every day for the rest of your life.
Brad Paisley
6 Likes
The married state, with and without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of heaven and hell we are capable of receiving in this life
Richard Steele Sr
8 Likes
Marriage quotes
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Even though I've been married for eight years, I do separate my food in the refrigerator from my wife's. I put labels on it that say 'This is Will's leftover chicken' or whatever. And if you touch it, yeah, I get livid.
Will Ferrell
26 Likes
Funny quotes
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You said youve been a bacholor for 23 years, thats good because youre about to get married, you wont have any s... I know married couples, they dont have s..!
Brody Jenner
4 Likes
I'm married with three kids. The band was on the road before I was married and groupies are something you can have if you're into that. Some guys do, but not this band really we do some partying and not the groupie thing.
3 Doors Down
1 Likes
I heard we'll get you a pass because we know you're married to a black woman. You're married to a sister so we'll give you that pass but also, those who know me but also if they look at the body of work, it is the bigger picture.
Blair Underwood
20 Likes
I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
Don Adams
1 Likes
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My parents got married late and they had kids late, so I never felt a social or cultural thing to be married or pregnant or a homeowner by a certain age.
Anna Kendrick
3 Likes
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Oscar Wilde
4 Likes
Women quotes
Devotion quotes
If I get married, I want to be very married
Audrey Hepburn
11 Likes
If I get married, I want to be very married.
Audrey Hepburn
14 Likes
I tried to become a family man. I got married, but it didn't work out. After 22 months we got an annulment. Then I married an Italian girl, which resulted in an immediate annulment. I had two annulments by the time I was 23.
Dominic Chianese
4 Likes
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