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Mother In Law Jokes Erma Bombeck Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Mother In Law Jokes Erma Bombeck" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Mind quotes
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
17 Likes
Politics quotes
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Erma Bombeck
26 Likes
Knowledge quotes
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Housework quotes
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
Humor quotes
Spontaneity quotes
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Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
Age quotes
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
Drink quotes
God created man, but I could do better.
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
God quotes
Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.
Erma Bombeck
24 Likes
Family Loyalty quotes
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Courage quotes
Bravery quotes
Housekeeping quotes
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
39 Likes
Action quotes
Talent quotes
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Housework quotes
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Erma Bombeck
26 Likes
Death quotes
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, A house guest, you're wrong because I have just described my kids.
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
Erma Bombeck
18 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
Erma Bombeck
95 Likes
Parents quotes
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
21 Likes
People quotes
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Humor quotes
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Housework quotes
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