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Mother In Law Jokes Erma Bombeck Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Mother In Law Jokes Erma Bombeck" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck
13 Likes
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Running quotes
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Theft quotes
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
49 Likes
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vThere is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose, and his mother's mouth. Which leaves his mother with a pretty blank expression.
Robert Benchley
13 Likes
Mothers Day quotes
Jokes quotes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Cosmetics quotes
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Direction quotes
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Ski quotes
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
10 Likes
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
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