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My Facebook Status May Offend You Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "My Facebook Status May Offend You" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The awkward moment when the ticket vendor says, 'Enjoy your movie.' and then you say, 'You too!'
Unknown
72 Likes
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Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
Unknown
483 Likes
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That one person you wish you never gave your phone number to.
Unknown
78 Likes
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Am I the only one who is tired of people complaining about their love lives, friends, or just their lives over facebook or in general? People are just trying to get attention by posting statuses or complaining to others about how bad their daily life is. Yes we all complain but there are those who do to often, and people need to realize that living a life can be tough but it's usually not worth complaining about especially over the internet. In my opinion the only people who should be able to complain about their lives are those who are fighting to survive.
Nastiya
174 Likes
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FACEBOOK, SlutBook, meet just to fu..Book, tryin to be sneaky but then get caught UpBook, ShameBook, LameBook, using a fake NameBook, corny in the streets but on here you got GameBook, JokeBook, PokeBook, everybody's QuoteBook, in pictures you got money but in person you BrokeBook, s..Book, FlexBook, flirting with your ExBook, someone leaves a comment then you get a urgent TextBook, FightBook, TrifeBook, everybodys RightBook, someone needs to come out with a get a fu..ing LifeBook!
Unknown
1082 Likes
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We all have that one friend with the hot sister everyone wants to get with.
Unknown
165 Likes
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When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them.
Unknown
90 Likes
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There's nothing more comfortable than sleeping while someone else gets ready for work.
Unknown
86 Likes
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
Unknown
472 Likes
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Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
Unknown
128 Likes
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That moment of shame when you walk up to an automatic door and it doesnt open for you.
Unknown
81 Likes
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Realizing that you overslept & popping out of bed like a ninja.
Unknown
68 Likes
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My mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-bi...."
Unknown
2696 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're trying to dodge someone, and you both step the same way twice.
Hussein Nishah
119 Likes
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Just saw two deaf girls arguing, one said, 'bi... better keep my name out your hands.'
Unknown
258 Likes
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I'm gonna go stand outside. So if anybody asks, you can just say I'm outstanding!
Arjun Loveable
225 Likes
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The only reason I still have a land line is so that I can call my cell and find out where I left it.
Unknown
30 Likes
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I think bathrooms should be soundproof so we can sing as loudly as we want to.
Unknown
53 Likes
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I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.
Unknown
349 Likes
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I never understood why they have life jackets under our seats on planes instead of parachutes...
Unknown
187 Likes
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