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Nut Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Nut Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig
93 Likes
Funny quotes
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I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes.
Sergio Aragones
4 Likes
A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!
Jerry Dennis
318 Likes
Funny quotes
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An ex-girlfriend from my past told me to see things from a girls point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window...
Unknown
329 Likes
Ex Girlfriend quotes
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I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what po..ography is to erotic language in a good novel.
James Humes
7 Likes
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A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.
Shawn Wayans
0 Likes
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives a women wild? No... it's a $100 bill.
Unknown
169 Likes
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Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
Joel McHale
0 Likes
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Unknown
7 Likes
True Friend quotes
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In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
David Cross
0 Likes
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I'm not saying she's fat. I'm just saying if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know.... She'd be three of them.
Unknown
66 Likes
Being Fat quotes
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Love is one of those jokes you have to be there to get.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
16 Likes
Love quotes
I am all for jokes, I am all for laughter.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
2 Likes
Laughter quotes
I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
Mark Russell
3 Likes
If a woman is funny, that will leave an impression and stay on my brain. A girl should do something, anything, to make me laugh. I like dark, intellectual wit. But no jokes about bodily functions. Thats not a turn-on for me.
Ryan Phillippe
3 Likes
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A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.
Max Eastman
3 Likes
Jokes quotes
I said to the wife, Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one. And she said, I'll bet it's that stuck up Phyllis at number 23.
Max Kauffmann
100 Likes
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In whatever way I may have insulted You in jokes; while playing, reposing in bed, sitting, or at meals; when alone, or in front of others; O Krishna, I implore You for forgiveness.
Bhagavad Gita
30 Likes
Forgiveness quotes
Women are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Relationships are a lot more like algebra. For instance. Have you ever loked at your X and wonderd Y?.
Unknown
118 Likes
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