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Phyllis Diller Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Phyllis Diller Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
404 Likes
Smile quotes
Smiling quotes
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
30 Likes
Parents quotes
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core
Phyllis Diller
11 Likes
Beauty quotes
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor
Phyllis Diller
28 Likes
Cooking quotes
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I admit, I have a tremendous s.. drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller
206 Likes
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
39 Likes
Funny quotes
Women quotes
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
Phyllis Diller
33 Likes
Money quotes
Ghetto quotes
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual
Phyllis Diller
48 Likes
Anger quotes
Frustration quotes
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
21 Likes
Children quotes
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
162 Likes
Funny quotes
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
Funny Christmas quotes
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I said to the wife, Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one. And she said, I'll bet it's that stuck up Phyllis at number 23.
Max Kauffmann
100 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
Rainn Wilson
4 Likes
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
40 Likes
Jokes quotes
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
Jokes quotes
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
28 Likes
Jokes quotes
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