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Short Funny Bar Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Short Funny Bar" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.
Mitch Hedburg
10 Likes
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Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey
27 Likes
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Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey
34 Likes
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Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey
38 Likes
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Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces.
Judith Viorst
8 Likes
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John Paulk, the poster boy for 'ex-gays' was found in a gay bar in Washington. He said he was there to use the bathroom. But nobody thought to ask him for what.
Kate Clinton
19 Likes
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I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
Mitch Hedberg
24 Likes
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Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.
Unknown
342 Likes
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Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny.
Mike Myers
3 Likes
In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long.
Pope Paul VI
54 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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That room was not available, and the only other room had been booked for a Jewish bar mitzvah. I called the father and told him I needed the room and I would pay him to move the bar mitzvah to an adjoining room which was smaller.
Lew Wasserman
1 Likes
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces
Judith Viorst
25 Likes
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There is an eternal conflict between the school-room and the bar-room. The school-room makes men, the bar-room destroys them.
Thomas Jordan Jarvis
0 Likes
Social networking is like a club. Twitter is the dance floor, tumblr is the bar and facebook is the people crying in the toilets.
Unknown
121 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
Shelley Winters
26 Likes
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