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Steven Wright Phone Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Steven Wright Phone" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
1 Likes
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
3 Likes
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright
5 Likes
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
9 Likes
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
1 Likes
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I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright
0 Likes
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
1 Likes
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
44 Likes
Funny quotes
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
Steven Wright
1 Likes
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
3 Likes
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
0 Likes
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright
19 Likes
Funny quotes
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Steven Wright
2 Likes
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
3 Likes
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
1 Likes
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
32 Likes
Funny quotes
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
0 Likes
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
6 Likes
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
6 Likes
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
Steven Wright
1 Likes
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