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Unknown Funny Dayoff Workhole Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Unknown Funny Dayoff Workhole" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.
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22 Likes
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Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
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Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
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509 Likes
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If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
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795 Likes
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I was going to do something today but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday.
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114 Likes
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I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones.
Unknown
362 Likes
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i think I might like you funny huh. yeah really funny. but do i? I guess ill never know
Unknown
40 Likes
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
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800 Likes
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I always write 'Wake Up' on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day.
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813 Likes
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This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away.
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430 Likes
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Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.
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240 Likes
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You've got higher grades than mine, not because you're smarter than me, but because I'm lazier than you.
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166 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
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340 Likes
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
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255 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
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1256 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
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2419 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
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170 Likes
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