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Ve Ry Funny Facebook Stak Sta Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Ve Ry Funny Facebook Stak Sta" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
Unknown
306 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
Unknown
63 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Unknown
471 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Unknown
305 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Jim's whor.. house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.'
Unknown
558 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
Unknown
706 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time.
Unknown
181 Likes
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.
Unknown
662 Likes
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I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China...
Unknown
364 Likes
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Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas?
Unknown
260 Likes
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Showing your friend a funny video on YouTube and constantly checking their face to make sure they're enjoying it...
Unknown
1081 Likes
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Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
Unknown
27 Likes
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
Unknown
1197 Likes
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That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon.
Unknown
264 Likes
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