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X Mas Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "X Mas Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of s.. propaganda.
Heywood Broun
3 Likes
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So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi driver says, don't worry we'll lose him at the next lights.
Tommy Cooper
131 Likes
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I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me.
Andy Samberg
3 Likes
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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If ugliness was measured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China.
Unknown
313 Likes
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A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
Melchor Lim
81 Likes
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
34 Likes
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Roses are red violets are blue if your parents said that you are beautiful they're lying you.
Unknown
269 Likes
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I have two modes. First I get really quiet, but then I'm the complete opposite, where I'm like telling jokes. How I act depends on the girl. It helps when a girl's really confident because then I don't feel like I have to entertain her.
Nick Jonas
11 Likes
We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
Jennifer Saunders
1 Likes
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Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well.
Will Arnett
4 Likes
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.
Nikhil Saluja
350 Likes
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Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Washington Irving
2 Likes
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It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.
Malcolm Muggeridge
6 Likes
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The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood, action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.
Craig McCracken
3 Likes
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Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Washington Irving
10 Likes
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My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
Cathy Guisewite
6 Likes
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade.
Harry Hill
56 Likes
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I love you. I go weak when you touch me, I laugh at your jokes when they're not funny, and I take every chance I can get to talk to you.
Unknown
98 Likes
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I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
Robert Goulet
1 Likes
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