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What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?
Unknown
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I love you is 8 letters...so is bullsh...
Unknown
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Thank you for hurting me...
Unknown
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Cheaters want you to be loyal while they're being unfaithful. Makes sense.
Unknown
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I must have missed school the day we learned about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire slayer...
Unknown
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Walmart usually uses 4 checkouts, unless it's really busy then they use 1.
Unknown
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Love doesn't pay bills, unless you're a prostitute.
Unknown
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Sorry, I'm not tall enough to ride your emotional roller-coaster.
Unknown
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Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That's 10 years in a row now...
Unknown
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I like rumors! I found out so much about me that I didn't even know.
Unknown
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I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
Jarod Kintz
126 Likes
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I'm nice to the weird kid, so he'll spare my life when he snaps.
Unknown
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Well I'd love to stay and chat but I fu..ing hate you.
Unknown
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I'm so talented. I can listen to music and ignore you at the same time.
Unknown
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You hate your life? Go post on Facebook about it, that'll help.
Unknown
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I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here.
Unknown
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Of course I can keep a secret. Its the people I tell it to who cant.
Unknown
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
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'Did you get braces?' Nah bro I'm just chewing staples.
Unknown
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
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