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Erma Bombeck Mothers Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck Mothers" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Cosmetics quotes
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Direction quotes
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
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Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Ski quotes
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
10 Likes
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Danger quotes
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
Erma Bombeck
14 Likes
Carpe Diem quotes
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
33 Likes
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
27 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Funerals quotes
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
12 Likes
Vacation quotes
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