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Funny Expecting A Child Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Expecting A Child" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I was never used to being happy, so that wasn't something I ever took for granted. I did sort of think, you know, marriage did that. You see, I was brought up differently from the average American child because the average child is brought up expecting to be happy - that's it, successful, happy, and on time.
Marilyn Monroe
508 Likes
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Yes, its true...the woman I love and I are expecting our first child. Currently experiencing joy on levels I never knew existed.
James Van Der Beek
0 Likes
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
16 Likes
Funny quotes
The child thinks of growing old as an almost obscene calamity, which for some mysterious reason will never happen to itself. All who have passed the age of thirty are joyless grotesques, endlessly fussing about things of no importance and staying alive without, so far as the child can see, having anything to live for. Only child life is real life.
George Orwell
51 Likes
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My definition of insanity is doing you over and over again and expecting to have an orgasm.
Unknown
11 Likes
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Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert.
Peter Griffin
159 Likes
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I'd have to think of something really creative and mind-fu..ing. Maybe if I adopted a child, like a foreign child, and carried it around and took it to work and took it to a Teen Vogue party. That'd be pretty funny.
Leven Rambin
2 Likes
Putting a computer in front of a child and expecting it to teach him is like putting a book under his pillow, only more expensive
Joseph Weizenbaum
25 Likes
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No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.
Rowan Atkinson
8 Likes
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
2727 Likes
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Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian
Dennis Wholey
11 Likes
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They say expecting is one way of hurting yourself. But what if you have been given reason to expect? Expecting doesn't hurt you; Assuming does.
Unknown
38 Likes
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I wasn't expecting you to just let me in after everything you've been through, I'm expecting myself to be patience and persuasive till you finally realize how much you trust me.
Blaze Olamiday
61 Likes
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Always expecting Good WORDS from people is just like standing with both legs on a football and expecting it to remain still wheather you move in any direction.
Arjun Thaman
6 Likes
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Snooki is expecting her baby on December 21, 2012. I guess the Mayans knew what they were talking about...
Unknown
576 Likes
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Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to getonly with what you are expecting to givewhich is everything.
Katherine Hepburn
1 Likes
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Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expecting to give-which is everything.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything.
Katharine Hepburn
15 Likes
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Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -- only with what you are expecting to give -- which is everything...
Katherine Hepburn
4 Likes
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Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
Shari R Barr
42 Likes
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