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Funny Santa Visit Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Santa Visit" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Only visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
10 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
Rick Sutter
77 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
2 Likes
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
9 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
32 Likes
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A group of us started a community center in Santa Monica. We've tried different programs, and three have worked really well. A poetry group. Once a week we visit Venice High and talk to girls at risk.
Lisa Bonet
3 Likes
Dear Santa.... you'se a bi... ni...... nonono... wait wait... Dear Santa... You'se a bi... a.. ni......i heard the mall was hiring extra security to protect you.. that's a bi... move santa...i'm comin for that a.. again... until you pay what you owe! sincurly yours... the santa stalker...
Riley Freeman
60 Likes
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
Bob Phillips
6 Likes
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One time I asked Brasky to dress up as Santa for a Christmas party I was having for my children. Anyway, Brasky shows up as Santa, says I've got goodies for you kids. He reaches into his bag and proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says There's no Santa cause I ate him!
Bill Brasky
0 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!
Unknown
4 Likes
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I believed in Santa Claus until I was much older than the average kid. One year, my mom wrote 'Merry Christmas, Stacy' on a chalkboard and told me it was written by Santa. I was like, 'Oh my God, he knows my name!' I truly believed. Then a kid ruined it for me one day and told me there was no Santa, and I came home crying. The sad part was that the girl who told me was younger than I was.
Stacy Keibler
6 Likes
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Dennis Miller
32 Likes
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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white; Oh, what a laugh it would have been. If daddy had only seen. mommy kissing Santa Claus, last night.
Unknown
10 Likes
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