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Funny Short Wired Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Short Wired" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.
Unknown
228 Likes
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The key is just to ignore the pain, because physical comedy only works if you see someone get hurt and they aren't actually hurt. If someone gets hit in the face with a bat, falls down, and gets back up, it's funny. If they stay down and their jaw is wired shut in the next scene, it's really tragic and weird. You have to pretend it doesn't hurt.
Chris Pratt
1 Likes
The killer app that got the world ready for appliances was the light bulb. So the light bulb is what wired the world. And they weren't thinking about appliances when they wired the world. They were really thinking about - they weren't putting electricity into the home. They were putting lighting into the home.
Jeff Bezos
4 Likes
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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Life is too short to waste time on matching socks.
Unknown
136 Likes
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
Unknown
618 Likes
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I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
Martin Short
14 Likes
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements.
Paballo Nhambiri
215 Likes
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Help me if you can. It's just that this, this is not the way I'm wired. So could you please, help me understand why you've given in to all these reckless dark desires.
A Perfect Circle
54 Likes
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My guitars are my umbilical cord. They're directly wired into my head.
Kirk Hammett
4 Likes
I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.
Elvis Presley
2 Likes
Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.
Unknown
342 Likes
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In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long.
Pope Paul VI
54 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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I can't tell you how many people have asked me to show them Stray Cat Strut and that little diminished run on the C. I guess my brain is wired backwards. I don't know what possessed me to do that, but I did.
Brian Setzer
1 Likes
My wife and I don't have kids and people are down on us about it. But we're just not wired that way, so don't tell me I have to.
Paul Feig
3 Likes
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