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House Arrest Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "House Arrest Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Your commanders have ordered you to storm the White House and to arrest me. But I as the elected President of Russia give you the order to turn your tanks and not to fight against your own people.
Boris Yeltsin
3 Likes
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Through all the pain and the struggle yeah I still smile. House arrest on my leg but I still smile. Still chessin if I'm gon be gone a while.
Lil Boosie
111 Likes
When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house, I can't believe I remember this, he said to them, 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.
Mindy Kaling
13 Likes
Well, the biggest Norwegian newspaper regarded this as an arrest, since they hadn't told us that they were coming and they brought me in. So the biggest Norwegian newspaper looked upon that as an arrest.
Jon Johansen
0 Likes
Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who cant make up their minds. - Greg House
House MD
28 Likes
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If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house, I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.
Gaston Bachelard
1 Likes
Houses quotes
My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House for the summer.
Armageddon
4 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration.
Roger Ebert
1 Likes
Bush Administration quotes
I have an office in my house and one about five minutes from my house. I worked solely out of my house for many years, but find, with children, that I have to be in a different ZIP code to think.
Cathy Guisewite
3 Likes
Wilson: House, you're right! Why not? Why not date you?? Its brilliant; weve known each other for years, we've put up with all kinds of crap from each other, and we keep coming back. Were a couple! House: Are you still speaking metaphorically?
House MD
5 Likes
Cuddy: Dr. House! Need you here. House: No thanks. Lotta sick people. I might catch something.
House MD
14 Likes
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I believe in energy like dark energies. I believe that when a family moves into a house where six murders took place, there's going to be some bad juju in that house. But then again what the hell is wrong with you to be moving in that house to begin with?
Ryan Reynolds
3 Likes
I believe in energy like dark energies. I believe that when a family moves into a house where six murders took place, there's going to be some bad juju in that house. But then again what the hell is wrong with you to be moving in that house to begin with?
Ryan Reynolds
1 Likes
Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If Im out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if Im in the house? Ugg, ahhh. [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?
Eddie Izzard
10 Likes
Comedy quotes
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Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If Im out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if Im in the house? Ugg, ahhh. [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?
Eddie Izzard
12 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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