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Today Always Funny! Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Today Always Funny!" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I was going to do something today but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Unknown
114 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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Be happy today. Achieve something today. Don't regret today. Make today a day to look back and smile.
Terry Mark
145 Likes
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Instead of calling in sick today, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today!
Unknown
83 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.'
Unknown
921 Likes
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Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.
Unknown
660 Likes
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Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
Unknown
1171 Likes
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Today is a leap year and women are supposed to pluck up some courage and propose to their man! Guys will be avoiding their woman today.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Carpe Diem - Or maybe this day doesn't like being seized. . .
Rick Sutter
12 Likes
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Yesterday I was sad, today I am happy, yesterday I had a problem. today I still have the same problem, but today, I changed the way I look at it.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Every morning we wake up we are born again, what we do today is what matters most. Yesterday is but today's memory, but tomorrow is today's dream.
Edwin Mamerto
26 Likes
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Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow...
Unknown
44 Likes
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Tomorrow is today, just a day later.
Unknown
11 Likes
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Funny, I don't feel any more powerful today than yesterday.
Jerry B Jenkins
0 Likes
It's so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Today's forecast calls for near record swamp ass.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Today's a perfect day to belittle our single friends.
Unknown
26 Likes
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I thought of this really funny thing today. It was hilarious and relatable. Just hysterical.
Steve Carell
2 Likes
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