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Sex Quotes About Funny
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98 Sex quotes tagged with Funny.
QUOTES
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza.
Unknown
6 Likes
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From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.
Unknown
182 Likes
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Sex with you is so good that we should celebrate it by having sex.
Unknown
185 Likes
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Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it.
Unknown
236 Likes
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I am like a hardware store. I screw. I nut. I bolt.
Nikhil Saluja
153 Likes
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Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun, or getting paid, everyone likes getting laid!
Jake Anderson
173 Likes
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If you think sex is a big pain in the ass, try different position.
Unknown
215 Likes
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What is the best sexual position to create a gorgeous, charming absolutely attractive and cute baby?.... Ask my parents!
Unknown
201 Likes
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Want to make a good first impression on a guy? Ask questions about him, seem interested, listen, giggle and swallow.
Family Guy
172 Likes
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They say you shouldn't lie to your doctor. But admit it, if they ask if you've ever had sex, and your mom is right there, you're gonna say no.
Risa Schizophrenia
517 Likes
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February 13 should be international condom day.
Mario Tomasello
264 Likes
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Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick. Boss: When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it. Later Chinese called back: It worked. Me better. You got nice house!
Unknown
372 Likes
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room...sex-ed is so advanced now, they also give homework.
Unknown
113 Likes
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When my teacher gets pregnant? Normal people: 'Oh my God! Congratulations!' Me: 'My teacher had sex?'
Unknown
145 Likes
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Real men don't wear pink, they eat it.
Daniel Ellis
125 Likes
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Hi, I'm a shower. If you turn me on, I'll make you wet.
Mickey Anderson
230 Likes
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I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport.
Unknown
619 Likes
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I haven't had sex in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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I see that you retweeted my tweet...I accept your invitation for sex.
Unknown
67 Likes
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