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Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
Unknown
96 Likes
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Maybe I should rethink this, when I spelled it Blooging at first.
Unknown
94 Likes
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Sorry...I couldn't hear you over all the f*ck I don't give.
Unknown
223 Likes
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Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.
George Eliot
7 Likes
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I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
Jarod Kintz
80 Likes
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If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.
Jarod Kintz
71 Likes
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Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.
Unknown
362 Likes
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Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. 'Ugh, Look at that b*tch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!'
Unknown
209 Likes
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Dear teacher, I talk no matter where I am. Moving my seat will not help.
Unknown
70 Likes
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Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.
Oliver Goldsmith
104 Likes
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Country music stays at the top off the charts because the people who listen to it don't know how to download it for free.
Unknown
60 Likes
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Putting makeup on will not make people like you. Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try being pretty on the inside.
Unknown
53 Likes
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If opinions are like assholes, then a lot of opinions wear Ed Hardy shirts.
Unknown
40 Likes
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I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Victoria Beryl Zelinski
32 Likes
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Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the whole damn community will stop by to chat. True story. FML.
Donny Norris
16 Likes
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Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if you forget their birthday.
Jason Fundora
14 Likes
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It should be perfectly legal to kill people who brag about not owning a TV.
Unknown
14 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Yesterday, at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how he prepared the chicken. He replied, "We don't...we just tell it straight that it's going to die!"
Mahesh Shroff
18 Likes
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