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50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes Anniversary Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes Anniversary Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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That awkward moment when your friend jokingly says something about you but it secretly true.
Unknown
101 Likes
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I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash.
Zach Manal
61 Likes
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What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
Unknown
208 Likes
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Robert Pattinson must be the only guy in the world who enjoys his girlfriend being on her period.
Unknown
75 Likes
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I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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You are so big, you plays hopscotch like, 'Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania...'
Unknown
12 Likes
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I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my pe..s into a poodle.
Dan Whitney
109 Likes
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My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright
72 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
35 Likes
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
Sam Ewing
25 Likes
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I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
Neil LaBute
0 Likes
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
Ashley Tisdale
30 Likes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Dennis Miller
44 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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We can't forget what happened on May 4th, 1970, when four students gave up their lives because they had the American constitutional right of peaceful protest. They gave up their lives. And to sing that song in that spot on that anniversary was very emotional for us.
Graham Nash
14 Likes
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