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I try to not look back at the past, I think of it as a toilet that flushes...do I really want to go there?
Unknown
104 Likes
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I won't take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet...you have time to move.
Unknown
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Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins. -Pastor Clever
Friday
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
Unknown
664 Likes
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I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names...
Unknown
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Unknown
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Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'
Unknown
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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Waldo. The prime example that a good man is hard to find.
Unknown
174 Likes
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Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
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RIP to all the ho.. dying for attention!
Unknown
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
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Love is like a roller coaster, once you have completed the ride, you want to go again.
Unknown
88 Likes
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Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld
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The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nikhil Saluja
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I think Douglas was a real one-off. He was so clever and so intelligent and so well read in real science that he could make science fiction work as well as it did. And just such fun to have around, he was just such a lovely man.
Lalla Ward
1 Likes
Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise.
Adolf Hitler
9 Likes
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I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.
Jon Lajoie
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I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
281 Likes
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My host at Richmond, yesterday morning, could not sufficiently express his surprise that I intended to venture to walk as far as Oxford, and still farther. He however was so kind as to send his son, a clever little boy, to show me the road leading to Windsor.
Karl Philipp Moritz
1 Likes
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