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Cruel Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Cruel Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old...
Unknown
574 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East,you're as good as dead.
Elton John
6 Likes
Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.
Will Eisner
8 Likes
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Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
Unknown
1171 Likes
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They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
7 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
Robert Paul
2280 Likes
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Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Unknown
264 Likes
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This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father!
Unknown
68 Likes
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I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
63 Likes
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Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Lucy Liu
40 Likes
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It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14.
Jennifer Connelly
46 Likes
I won't kill you, but I'll enjoy reading your obituary.
Unknown
31 Likes
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It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
Unknown
9 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.
Unknown
11 Likes
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Fiction is a kind of compassion-generating machine that saves us from sloth. Is life kind or cruel? Yes, Literature answers. Are people good or bad? You bet, says Literature. But unlike other systems of knowing, Literature declines to eradicate one truth in favor of another.
George Saunders
1 Likes
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People are constantly clamoring for the joy of life. As for me, I find the joy of life in the hard and cruel battle of life - to learn something is a joy to me.
August Strindberg
2 Likes
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