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Daniel Tosh America Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Daniel Tosh America" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
Daniel Tosh
49 Likes
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Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger
Daniel Tosh
38 Likes
Relatives quotes
My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, Well that taught me a lesson.
Daniel Tosh
20 Likes
In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Daniel Tosh
43 Likes
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Daniel Tosh
18 Likes
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models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
Daniel Tosh
14 Likes
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
Daniel Tosh
35 Likes
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
Daniel Tosh
66 Likes
If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
Daniel Tosh
34 Likes
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
Daniel Tosh
31 Likes
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Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.
Daniel Tosh
33 Likes
School quotes
In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Daniel Tosh
41 Likes
Television quotes
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
Daniel Tosh
42 Likes
Funny quotes
Faults quotes
Celebrity quotes
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
58 Likes
Husbands quotes
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
Daniel Tosh
44 Likes
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Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet.
Daniel Tosh
81 Likes
Funny quotes
Writing quotes
Books quotes
Humor quotes
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
Daniel Tosh
65 Likes
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
123 Likes
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code...he turned himself in.
Daniel Tosh
36 Likes
Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?
Daniel Tosh
64 Likes
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