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Dave Allen Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Dave Allen Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry
35 Likes
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry
30 Likes
Football quotes
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There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.
Dave Navarro
2 Likes
Only one of us would usually sing lead. Which most of the time was, Mickey or Dave. They thought it was perfectly a natural routine, because Mickey and Dave saw themselves as TV actors.
Peter Tork
0 Likes
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen
8 Likes
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Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, I think it has to be a combination of a good story, it has to be funny, and it also needs to be packed with useful information.
Ted Allen
0 Likes
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Woody Allen
7 Likes
Funny quotes
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
25 Likes
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Don't knock mastur...... - it's s.. with someone I love
Woody Allen
21 Likes
Sex quotes
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Remember, if you smoke after s.. you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
44 Likes
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Don't knock mastur...... - it's s.. with someone I love
Woody Allen
113 Likes
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I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens
Woody Allen
116 Likes
Death And Dying quotes
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Remember, if you smoke after s.. you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
57 Likes
Sex quotes
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I don't know the question, but s.. is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
95 Likes
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Woody Allen
15 Likes
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
6 Likes
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
6 Likes
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s.. without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
9 Likes
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Woody Allen
14 Likes
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
87 Likes
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