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Dwight Schrute Snowflakehrute Snowflakeke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Dwight Schrute Snowflakehrute Snowflakeke" sorted by relevance. 292 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Dwight Schrute
5 Likes
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When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Dwight Schrute
12 Likes
Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Dwight Schrute
2 Likes
Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what Im being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, Im going wherever they value loyalty the most.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldnt hear the other dead people.
Dwight Schrute
4 Likes
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The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis.Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you dont hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins arent smart. They just like pushing things.
Dwight Schrute
11 Likes
He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
Dwight Schrute
8 Likes
I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having s.. in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching.
Dwight Schrute
6 Likes
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I think Dwight loves being number two. I don't think he has any desire to be number one. He wants to be number two no matter where he goes. It's like Avis. 'We try harder.' That's Dwight.
Rainn Wilson
0 Likes
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Dwight D Eisenhower
1 Likes
Plans are nothing; planning is everything.
Dwight D Eisenhower
0 Likes
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
Dwight D Eisenhower
3 Likes
I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man.
Dwight L Moody
0 Likes
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The sergeant is the Army.
Dwight D Eisenhower
0 Likes
How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?
Dwight D Eisenhower
0 Likes
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
Dwight D Eisenhower
3 Likes
War settles nothing.
Dwight D Eisenhower
6 Likes
No man can resolve himself into Heaven.
Dwight L Moody
0 Likes
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