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Elevator Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Elevator Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Someone knocks at the door of an apartment to borrow salt or sugar, people run into each other in the elevator, and in this way become inscribed in the spectator's memory.
Krzysztof Kieslowski
1 Likes
Mankind quotes
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A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see the guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking a cigar and saying long-time-no-see.
Phyllis Battelle
19 Likes
Mai? Asian chick? Likes to kick people? Yeah, last time I saw her, she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV up her ass.
John Mcclane
2 Likes
I have an elbow that bends the wrong way, and I'd do things like stand in an elevator and the doors would close, and I'd pretend that my arm had got caught in it, and then I'd scream, 'Ow, ow, put it back!'
Geena Davis
0 Likes
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
Dylan Thomas
77 Likes
Jokes quotes
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SAFETY-CLUTCH, n. A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the hoisting apparatus.
Ambrose Bierce
7 Likes
Politics quotes
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
30 Likes
Jokes quotes
I think if you have a two-story office and you hire someone who's handicapped, it might be reasonable to let him have an office on the first floor rather than the government saying you have to have a $100,000 elevator.
Rand Paul
2 Likes
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I cannot switch my voice. My voice is not like an elevator going up and down.
Maria Callas
45 Likes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
Jokes quotes
If you really want something, dont be so impatient. Relax and wait for the chance of grabbing it. Remember, no matter how many times you push the elevator button, it will not come any faster, not until the right floor comes.
Unknown
41 Likes
Life Lesson quotes
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Sometimes when I sit own to practice and there is no one else in the room, I have to stifle an impulse to ring for the elevator man and offer him money to come in and hear me.
Arthur Rubinstein
4 Likes
Money quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
35 Likes
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
19 Likes
Jokes quotes
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The Daily Show quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
4 Likes
You mean to tell me from runnin my big mouth, that I could chill here in this big penthouse. All elevator'd up, black hardwood floors. Just to sit around and feel like it ain't yours.
Young Jeezy
7 Likes
A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see that special guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking and saying 'Long time no see'.
Phyllis Batelle
25 Likes
Life quotes
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