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Erma Bombeck Talent Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck Talent" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Running quotes
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Ski quotes
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
Cosmetics quotes
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck
6 Likes
Direction quotes
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
10 Likes
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
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I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Danger quotes
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
Erma Bombeck
14 Likes
Carpe Diem quotes
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Funerals quotes
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
27 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
12 Likes
Vacation quotes
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
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