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Funny Facebook F Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook F" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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420 Facebook Status quotes
I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
Unknown
645 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
Unknown
1055 Likes
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Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
Unknown
306 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Unknown
145 Likes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
Unknown
636 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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Whoever said white men can't jump has clearly never played Temple Run.
Unknown
220 Likes
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Unknown
588 Likes
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
Unknown
63 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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