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Funny Facebook Met Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Met" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
Unknown
306 Likes
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Unknown
588 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
Unknown
645 Likes
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I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I Miss New York", so I smashed their window and stole their radio.
Unknown
649 Likes
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Unknown
145 Likes
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That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves....and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.
Unknown
162 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
Unknown
63 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
Unknown
37 Likes
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Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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420 Facebook Status quotes
Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
Unknown
841 Likes
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I wish our s.. life was as passionate as your reaction to the casting news about Fifty Shades of Grey.
Unknown
67 Likes
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Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to.
Unknown
26 Likes
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I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.
Unknown
168 Likes
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