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Funny Facebook Status Post Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status Post" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Dr: Are you s..ually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whor...
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400 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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222 Likes
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
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948 Likes
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In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
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972 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
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919 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
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345 Likes
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I was using Facebook hashtags before they worked.
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76 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
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2197 Likes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
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4765 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
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1246 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
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40 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
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85 Likes
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Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
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572 Likes
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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
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593 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
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573 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
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57 Likes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
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41 Likes
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