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Funny Jokes For Parents Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes For Parents" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Parents and children seldom act in concert: each child endeavours to appropriate the esteem or fondness of the parents, and the parents, with yet less temptation, betray each other to their children.
Samuel Johnson
15 Likes
Parents quotes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
50 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
Geoffrey Parfitt
35 Likes
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I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
78 Likes
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Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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