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Funny Jokes To End Da Dayda Day Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes To End Da Dayda Day" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost
232 Likes
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost
397 Likes
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A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.
Will Eisner
8 Likes
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Boy: is your name Google?, Girl: No!!... Why? Boy: Because you got everything I am searching for
Unknown
130 Likes
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I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
Tim Vine
3 Likes
At the end of the day I love my mom regardless of how much we argue, or whatever we go through, because I know she'll always be there.
Unknown
155 Likes
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I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
Unknown
129 Likes
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One day we will meet again. It hurts to know you're gone. You were my inspiration my best friend, I looked up to you...I followed in your footsteps. Loving the fact that you would be here with me till thee end. I look up in the sky every night to tell you the bond of ours will never end. You are someone I will miss dearly...You are my best friend.
Emma Swenson
218 Likes
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The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose, and his mother's mouth. Which leaves his mother with a pretty blank expression.
Robert Benchley
13 Likes
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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Ritu Ghatourey
406 Likes
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Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick. Boss: When I'm sick I have s.. with my wife, try it. Later Chinese called back: It worked. Me better. You got nice house!
Unknown
372 Likes
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Dear haters, I couldn't help but notice that "awesoME" ends with "ME" and "Ugly" starts with "U".
Unknown
130 Likes
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This Labor Day, let's salute American corporations for keeping the Chinese gainfully employed.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone whose maternity clothes were much less embarrassing than Kim Kardashian's are.
Unknown
13 Likes
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I'm boycotting Bastille Day because I'm still upset about France not supporting a war we were totally wrong about.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Friendship Day is the perfect time to not reflect on the friends I've methodically erased from my life.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of having me.
Unknown
19 Likes
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Happy Veterans Day from someone who can barely handle the simulated warfare of video games.
Unknown
29 Likes
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