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Funny Mark Twain Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Mark Twain" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
Mark Twain
49 Likes
Funny quotes
Baby quotes
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Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
Mark Twain
17 Likes
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Books quotes
Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
Mark Twain
44 Likes
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Age quotes
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards
Mark Twain
99 Likes
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The best way to cheer yourself is to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
92 Likes
Funny quotes
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
54 Likes
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Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Mark Twain
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Music quotes
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Books quotes
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark Twain
281 Likes
Funny quotes
Death quotes
We can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you.
Mark Twain
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
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At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.
Patrick Moore
13 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
31 Likes
Funny quotes
Food quotes
Healthy Eating quotes
Whatever a man's age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole.
Mark Twain
17 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
17 Likes
Christian quotes
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Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.
Dick Van Dyke
2 Likes
Humor quotes
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Mark Twain
19 Likes
Christian quotes
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In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
41 Likes
Funny quotes
School quotes
In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
9 Likes
Funny quotes
God quotes
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
37 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
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