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Funny Nursing Home Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Nursing Home" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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what, I got to amit this is some funny shit!!!
Miranda :)
30 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
52 Likes
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I want to thank Freddie Mac, Hibernia Bank, and Usher's New Look Foundation for their work to rebuild the lives of those who lost homes to Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. We are all partners in this rebuilding effort, ... I hope that their work will inspire others to join together in partnership to keep real the great American ideal of homeownership for those who lost their homes as well as those who have never had a home. Thank you for giving the heart a place to call home.
Al Green
8 Likes
Them two people are different people. I'm Irv Gotti and Irving Lorenzo. At home, with the wife and kids, I am different. I feel that business is hell, and for me to conquer hell, I must become Satan, so I turn myself into Satan, and that is how I survive and succeed. At home, I am an angel.
Irv Gotti
7 Likes
I'm always amazed when a pitcher becomes angry at a hitter for hitting a home run off him. When I strike out, I don't get angry at the pitcher, I get angry at myself. I would think that if a pitcher threw up a home run ball, he should be angry at himself.
Willie Stargell
2 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it?
Steve Hackett
9 Likes
I went to the University of Washington at Seattle. I had made a vow to never stay in my home state to play, I wanted to go as far East Coast as possible, more or less to get away from my family life. I was a seventeen year-old wanting to get away and run, but I ended up staying in my home state and fell in love with it. I ended up having a beautiful relationship with my family over time and it was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hope Solo
60 Likes
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When you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure you wish you were safe at home.
Thornton Wilder
18 Likes
From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Emily Matthews
96 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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