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Funny Put To Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Put To" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Once I put my problems into perspective, how long should I leave them in?
John Alejandro King
26 Likes
Problems quotes
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We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.
Frank A Clark
16 Likes
Funny quotes
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The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.
Unknown
8 Likes
Funny Pilot quotes
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...
Mitch Hedberg
20 Likes
Funny quotes
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
35 Likes
Funny quotes
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
21 Likes
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Put on your yarmulke, Here comes Hanukkah! So much funukah, To celebrate Hanukkah! Hanukkah is the festival of lights. Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
Adam Sandler
14 Likes
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...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"
Unknown
4880 Likes
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There can never be any excuse for sacrificing our childrens futures to keep corporate tax loopholes and tax giveaways to millionaires. If we cant put our children first, who can we put first? If we cant put our kids first, what does it say about our nation?
Senator John Kerry
119 Likes
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I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.
Unknown
17 Likes
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People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Tim Vine
5 Likes
An age at which many men are not quite common - at which they are hopeful of achievement, resolute in avoidance, thinking that Mammon shall never put a bit in their mouths and get astride their backs, but rather that Mammon, if they have anything to.
George Eliot
1 Likes
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It looked as if a night of dark intent Was coming, and not only a night, an age. Someone had better be prepared for rage. There would be more than ocean-water broken Before God's last 'Put out the Light' was spoken.
Robert Frost
9 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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It was always a fantasy of mine growing up, my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now...whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny.
Chloe Sevigny
3 Likes
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But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie.
Thomas Haden Church
0 Likes
Hopefully they're going to feel this is a new, fresh offering from me. Is it radically different? No, not really, but I continue to strive for excellence on what I put out. I won't put my name on something that I wouldn't want to listen to myself. I'll hold the record up. If I missed a deadline for release and have to wait another three months, then so be it. I just won't put a record out that I don't like. Any one single song that I can't stand to listen to is just not going to happen.
Marion Meadows
4 Likes
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett
85 Likes
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I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar.
Unknown
232 Likes
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