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Funny Resolutions Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Resolutions" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
Oscar Wilde
17 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
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New years resolutions don't exsist. It should never take a new year to make you realize you need to change something.
Unknown
23 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
This year my New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'Seacrest out!' after I ejaculate.
Zach Galifianakis
42 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
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We don't have Resolutions we've just got Reservations. I try to live my life right every day.
Drake
50 Likes
New Years Resolutions quotes
I hope one of your New Year's resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year's photos.
Unknown
39 Likes
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I will focus more on giving rather than taking.
Unknown
3 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
I will make it sure to give my wife a good night kiss whenever she sleeps, and a peck on her forehead even before sun's rays wake her up.
Unknown
14 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
15 Likes
New Year Funny quotes
Funny New Year quotes
And I've tried to give us a higher profile. Typically, at a board meeting, we'd pass resolutions about the civil-rights issue of the day, but we'd never tell anyone. So I've instituted a policy of announcing our resolutions at the end of our meetings.
Julian Bond
0 Likes
Disarming Iraq is legal under a series of U.N. resolutions. Iraq is in flagrant violation of U.N. Security Council resolutions.
Jose Maria Aznar
0 Likes
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Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So lets just wish each other a bileless New Year and leave it at that.
Judith Crist
7 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
Jay Leno
16 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
52 Likes
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This 2016 my resolution is to complete the resolution of 2015 that I should have completed in 2014.
Anurag Prakash Ray
45 Likes
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Funny New Years Resolution quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
May this new year bring many opportunities your way to explore every joy of life. May your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.
Unknown
54 Likes
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Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.
John Selden
6 Likes
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The old year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!
Edward Payson Powell
25 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
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A New Years resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
Unknown
28 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second
Helen Fielding
21 Likes
New Year quotes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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