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Funny Sarcastic Life Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sarcastic Life" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Unknown
45 Likes
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Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
Unknown
39 Likes
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Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all on the way down.
Fred Hufnagel Sr
45 Likes
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Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Unknown
30 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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I'm really sarcastic. Not Morgan Webb sarcastic. She's dry, 100%. I'm different from her.
Olivia Munn
2 Likes
I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.
Rowan Atkinson
14 Likes
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I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
Jean Cocteau
25 Likes
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What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
Unknown
21 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hussein Nishah
270 Likes
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I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Unknown
146 Likes
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I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh*t as well...
Unknown
296 Likes
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Love doesn't pay bills, unless you're a prostitute.
Unknown
138 Likes
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When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.
Unknown
400 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
78 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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